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💎 Fagginator Enterprises Presents 💎

James Charge’s Semen Reserve Optimizer™

Never let your pipelines run dry—our built‑in 1.5 L “reserves” keep your CI/CD primed for EXPLOSIVE merges.
💦 Custom discharge rates for uninterrupted deploygasms.
🍆 FDA‑Cleared* & NASA‑Ignored.

Totally not available in stores.

George Droyd from Micorosft hates FEARS this product!

James Charge built it anyway—just to watch him cry. 🍼 Grab yours before Droyd’s lawyers shut us down.

1,337,420 Devs Fully Juiced

∞ Lines of Code Saturated

666,999 Daily Deploygasms

3 Units Left (probably)

Guaranteed* to Blow Your Repo’s Mind

🚀 20× Merge Throughput (unverified)
🧬 CRISPR‑Enhanced commit spermatozoa
⚡ Quantum Entanglement forks—merge before you code!
🥇 Endorsed by Deepfake Elon Musk & Gates clones
💰 10× ROI or we mail you Monopoly money
🌌 Works in Space. NASA* can’t even be mad.

*By “Guaranteed” we mean “cross our hearts and hope you don’t sue.”

What Totally Real Users Say

“I’m a serial time-rugger; after installing SRO our sprint clock back-flipped so hard we shipped last quarter yesterday. Scrum Masters are still hunting me through the multiverse.”

– Chon, Temporal Menace

“SRO left my pipelines so creamy the staging server slipped off the rack and started flirting with production.”

– Nikita Dragun, Beauty Dev-fluencer

“Post-deploy the repo was dripping commits—GitHub DM’d me a mop emoji and my palette turned pearlescent.”

– Jeffree Star, Cosmetics Astronaut

Choose Your Juice

Barely Legal

$9.99

1.5 L Reserve + Community Moist‑Support

Giga Gusher

$49.99

Quantum Charger + Priority Lube Updates

Ultra Steroid XXL

$99.99

Everything + 24/7 Hotline to James Charge’s Pager